7 Surefire Ways To stuff Up Your Future

Your FutureThere are certain things that we mums do that might seem like a good idea at the time, but which turn out to be pretty dumb in the long run. Predictably, most of them are about procrastination.

Here’s my top 7 (I’m guilty of most of them)

1) Putting all your focus and efforts onto your kids and sweet F.A. onto your marriage. It may seem to be a long way off, but eventually your kids will leave home and the only person you’ll see across the breakfast table will be that bloke you loved so much you married him. If that thought makes you even just a teensy bit depressed, then you might need to do a bit of relationship maintenance sooner rather than later.

2) Putting all your focus and efforts onto your kids and sweet F.A. onto yourself. Before you’re eyeballing your partner at breakfast every morning from now into eternity, it’ll be yourself you’re looking at in the mirror. Will you like what you see? If you put yourself in the too hard basket now, then heaven help you in the future. Avoid being a fat, unhealthy, cranky, unfulfilled piece of crap in the future by being nice to yourself today.

3) Putting things off until the kids go to school/leave school/leave home. While I believe that generally it’s never too late to do anything, it might well be a whole lot harder, the later you leave it. If you’re contemplating enrolling in a 3 year course, do it now and be qualified in 3 years. If you put it off, you might lose your nerve.

4) Thinking you’re too old to start something new. When the future becomes your present, you’ll look back at your younger self and want to kick her in the head for being so dense. A friend of mine thought she was too old to change careers at 37! Thank god she talked herself out of that. 3 years later she has a successful, fulfilling photography business. (To read more about her journey, subscribe to my newsletter. The sign up box is on my home page).

5) Not making a financial plan. You need to pull your head out of the sand and start getting real. Chances are your Superannuation is pretty abysmal – I say this because, funnily enough, mothers who work in the home tend not to get any. Will you have enough money to live off when you’re too old to work? If your finances are a mess, it might be time to get some professional advice.

6) Letting your pre-baby friendships fall away in favour of friendships with the mothers of your children’s friends. While making new friends is never a bad idea, forgetting to nurture the ones you already have is. The friends we have before we become mothers know the essential us. And they’re often brilliant at reminding us of parts of ourselves that we might have forgotten about. Keep them around. (Also, ring your mother more. She won’t always be there).

7) This is the final and arguably the most important stuff-up most people make. Not creating a vision for your future. If you don’t ever think about what you want your life to be like in the future, then it will simply become a series of reactions to things that happen to you. That’s all very well and good if only good things happen to you, but if you’re like everyone else, you’ll probably have some sh#t thrown at you here and there and at times like that it’s a good idea to have the end goal in sight. When you create a dream, you will naturally make decisions that lead you towards it’s fruition. Dream a big dream for your future and do one thing today that will steer you in the right direction.

Here’s some suggestions:

* Exercise, go for a walk, or at least do a couple of stretches and a handful of sit ups.
* Say no to your vice at least once.
* Smile at your bloke.
* Make an appointment with a financial planner.
* Text/email/phone an old friend.
* Text/email/phone your mother (and/or your father)
* Write down a vision for your future.

Dream big.

My youngest had just started school and I knew I wanted to work again, but I felt lost and didn’t know what I wanted to do after all those years as a stay at home mum.
Gabrielle helped me understand what I thrive at, and it became clear to me what I did and didn’t want to do, going forward.
I felt understood and seen as a whole person. Thank you.

Elise, 42

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